Wednesday, July 30, 2014

How one sport can completely become an obsession and take over your life....in a good way :-)/#TrainWithHeart

I have said this before in earlier post about how I finally decided to start my triathlon training this year. If you haven't had a chance to read my post about my decision to start this journey to what I hope will be 140.6, for 10 years I would always watch NBC's coverage of the Kona World Championships. Every year while I was watching all those amazing people suffer and conquer the course I would say to myself, "I am going to start training for that this year" but didn't. So for whatever reason I had this year, whether it was being 40, the great support I have at home that I didn't have the years before or it was time to just do it; I have started this year. And after 3 months of training, it has become part of my DNA.

I have always wanted to be huge too. It is two conflicting goals that I have had in my life. I am 5"8" and have always wanted to be the size of Jay Cutler, Phil Heath or even the GOAT Arnold. I always thought 250 lbs was the weight I wanted to be. I knew what it would take it go from the 165 lb person I was to 250 and I don't mean the weights, food or the time in the gym. I knew it would take chemical enhancement and I was okay with that (or so I thought). About 3 years ago I decided that it was time. So I started the daily routine of eating every 2 hours 7 days a week. Going to the gym and doing absolutely no cardio cause now I am "bulking" LOL. Also went online and got the closes thing to pure chemical enhancements. Now with having those in my system I had to worry about my liver, blood pressure and testosterone production shut down. Oh the things that you have to do to reach your goals in this sport. When I started I weighed 175 and in 6 months I jumped to 210. I was definitely bigger. People that hadn't seen my in years, didn't even recognize me and where amazed. But how healthy was I? After walking up stairs, I was short of breath. My face was always a shade red from the elevated blood pressure. All I thought about was lifting and eating. My Twitter feed was nothing but full of bodybuilders and supplement companies. I snored louder. I just felt like total crap the whole time. Then came the stomach issue. I had to have my Nissin redone because not only had the one I had 12 years ago come undone but my stomach had twisted and was now above my diaphragm and under my lungs. The doctor that did the endoscopy said that people that had the same issues that I had, when they had to go to the emergency room they didn't make it cause the twist in the stomach had constricted the stomach to where no blood was getting to the rest of the stomach. So obviously the gym was put on hold for awhile. And the weight that I had put on started to drop off quickly. I had another habit that was terrible for me. I would kill my lungs at least 15 to 20 times a day and had the most important person in my life (other than my kids) asking me to stop but it is more addictive than heroin. So here comes November 2013. Again on NBC the Kona World Championship is on the TV. And again like the last 10 years there I am on the couch saying to myself "2014 I am going to do Kona in 2 years." Jump ahead to April 2014 and the click.

I don't know where it came from and I don't know why it happened. But I began my training. I stopped killing my lungs cold turkey. I mentally associated that after I worked out even one puff would completely destroy everything I just did in the gym. 4 months later and still not even 1 puff and don't even crave one either. So my journey began. I cleared out a lot of the bodybuilding Twitter feed, I canceled all the email list I was on regarding bodybuilding and replaced all of that with Triathlon athletes, companies and associations. I would find a great group of people that were all doing triathlons not to win but for themselves. The majority of professionals actually interact with their fans on Twitter and Social media. Companies would also interact with their customers. This was all knew to me. Now I am not saying in the bodybuilding world the companies and athletes don't, just that to me more of the pros in the triathlon world would interact with their fans. I would listen to races from all over the world, watch old races on YouTube, read everything I can about what is going on in the triathlon world. I would find a couple of people that would be inspirational to me by following their journey as they trained and competed in triathlons. It was great to see how supportive people in this world is to be so supportive of each other and cheer people that they haven't ever met before.

The training has taken off for me. If I miss a workout just cause of life, I can tell it changes how I feel. I feel like I am going backwards if I miss the workout. I feel amazing after a workout and I have struggles during the workout. I decided to take my workouts to a higher level. Heart Rate training using the MAF training way. Thanks to the innovative and amazing company of Mio Global, I started using their Mio Link. This strapless heart rate monitor was amazing. The Link goes on you wrist like a watch. So there would be no chaffing or uncomfortable chest strap to have to deal with. Being able to see which training zone you are in by a flashing light that corresponds to the heart rate zone you set by their Mio Go App is easy and very convenient. This one thing has taken my training to a level where I believe I will be able to do a full Ironman in 2 years time. So I thank them every chance I get and here I am doing it again. Thank you Mio Global for creating such an amazing helpful product. #TrainWithHeart is their slogan and it is fitting on many different levels.

Triathlon is now part of me and my world. Everyday I think about my training, how the last workout went and how the next one will be. I like, share, + and retweet on a daily basis companies that I support and follow and that have supported me and helped me. Like SOS Rehydrate, Swiftwick Socks, Mio Global, Skratch Labs, Align Footwear and SLSTri just to mention a few.

SOS Rehydrate has really helped me with my hydration during training and just support and motivation. Getting dehydrated is a thing of the past for me thanks to their great product. I will be doing a detailed review of their product in the near future. Also I will be doing a review of Swiftwick Socks and Align Footwear as well.

So I end this humbly and honestly to the people that take time out of their day to read my blogs,to say THANK YOU! I am no English professor, journalist, grammar expert or professional writer. I share this blog with whoever reads this to motivate, help or just entertainment you during your day. It takes putting your ego aside and bringing to the front any insecurities that one might have when they decide to do a blog. So again I can not express enough how appreciative I am of everyone of the hundreds and hundreds of people out that support each other in this Triathlon world.


Monday, July 28, 2014

Lionheart IndyCar Series: The Indianapolis "The Half Quart" 250 Race Recap

Coming off of my iRacing Indy 500, gave me plenty of time to no how the car would handle on the track, what type of gas mileage I would get and real good data that I feel like will make a difference. We were going to use the exact same setup that I used in the Indy 500 for our Fixed Setup so I already had 4 hours and 500+ miles on it. This will be a perfect time to use the mistakes I had in the Indy 500 race to my advantage. Oh but 2 cars before the race on Wednesday, iRacing releases the new build with the Official fixed setups and that is what we will use as we are a fixed series. So time to start all over LOL. Now from what I have heard that the official setup is almost just like the one we were going to use that we all worked on and built from CCM. So I still had hope.

Race day was here. I knew that it would be about 2 hours of racing, so I was prepared with my water, already ate (cause it starts at 11:50pm my time) and restroom break. Qualifying went okay not great. Started in 12th. Now in the Indy 500, I didn't get a chance to qualify so they started me in 14th which I then decided to start from the pits cause I didn't know anyone that I was racing with. This is where this great league comes into play. I felt very comfortable driving against the drivers in the top split, so I was very comfortable to be starting in 12th and on the track. Great start worked my way up 1 spot to 11th then the first caution came out which with a couple of drivers pitted put me into 9th. Just to give you an idea what great racers we had, in a 250 miles 100 lap race, we had only 2 cautions in a normal race in iRacing that would not have happened. Just lets you know the class of drivers that are racing in the top split of the league. So again not to do a lap by lap detail of my race (that will come later). I had it set up to pit twice to make it with just enough gas to finish according to Dashmeter Pro. Now speaking of Dashmeter Pro, if the race you are going to do is a rolling start put in 1 lap more than what is scheduled LOL. As an example this race was 100 laps with one pace lap so actually 101. So if you enter 100 laps, Dashmeter Pro will calculate your remaining fuel and fuel needed to finish based on just the 100 laps not including the pace lap. Why am I making a point about this CAUSE I RAN OUT OF GAS ON THE BACK STRAIGHTWAY!! Now when you are going 226 mph it allows you the ability to coast a mile to the finish line. However being mindful of me slowly down and having to coast to the finish line, I dropped down to the access road at turn 3. The downside is you can't take the access road at 225 mph so I had to slow down, so I had to use my brakes which slowed down my coasting ability. When did I realize this? When I got in between turn 3 and turn 4 and thought to myself I might not make it to the finish. I could feel myself starting t raise up out of the seat and kind of scoot my chair forward thinking that would help. As soon as my nose touched the start finsh line the car shut off, I just made it and stayed on the lead lap LOL.

Again another great race, ran with the professionalism and sportsmanship of the Lionheart Racing Series league. If you get a chance, please look us up on iRacing, on our website at http://www.lionheartracingseries.com/ and now on our YouTube channel at Lionheart Racing Series YouTube .


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Training without Ego: One of the hardest thing leaving that at home/MAF Training

Ego: the thing talking in your ear telling you to go faster, to not let the person next to you do more than you, even though you are in pain to keep going. Wait that is all? You can't go farther? You just need to quit!

Now there is a difference between pushing yourself and letting your ego take over. In pushing yourself, you say to yourself "you can do one more rep or one more set." You push yourself by doing more than you did the time before. Letting your Ego take over is worrying what people think about what you are doing in the gym. As an example, the person beside you is running at a faster pace and you increase your pace to match theirs even though it might be double what you are use to doing. When you have a very good training program in place but go above and beyond it just cause you are worrying about what people think about you while you are training or working out.

Now when you have your ego in your ear and let it take over but you stick to your training program, it will start to make you feel like you are not doing enough, you are failing or not going to succeed in your goals. And that is where I am in my running training. My cycling is going great. I am increasing my cadence, distance and effort all the while staying in my Green Zone. So I can tell that I am growing, getting better and my endurance is improving. However my running (if you can call it that) to me feels like it is never growing, never progressing and the discouragement is growing. I have been increasing my mileage according to the "rule" of 10% each week. I have been getting off the bike, doing abs and then hitting the run straight away. I can set it to a pace that allows me to run about .2 to .3 miles then I go over my Green Zone and have to start walking for .1 to .2 miles then I can run for about .15 and the cycle starts over. I get on the treadmill to run not to walk and run. This is the MAF training is though. You use the 180 formula to determine your Aerobic Zone and train in it. However you HAVE to check your ego at the door. MAF is the best way to increase your endurance and build a base but it is also the slowest way to do it so that you prevent injuries. Last nights training was a high of the fastest I have done on the bike in mph and a low with still having to walk. And it isn't cause I feel like I have to walk like I can't finish the workout but because I go outside of my Green Zone on my Mio Link. I just want to run the whole time but I have committed to this type of training and if it works for Mark Allen for his triathlon training then it has a good history of working.\

So we must just come to the door of the gym and look your EGO in the face and like you would talk to your dog just say, STAY!!

Monday, July 21, 2014

My iRacing Indy 500 or as I call it my pit strategy failure again LOL

If you have been reading my post for a little bit, you would have remembered me talking about how iRacing back in May tried to have the Indy 500 and Coca Cola 600 at the same time. Well the Indy 500 servers crashed and they canceled both Friday and Saturday races but kept the Coca Cola 600 going on Saturday. For whatever reason no one knows. So they rescheduled the Indy 500 for this past weekend. Now luckily this week's race in the Lionheart IndyCar Series , is at Indy so we had practice and a practice race first on Thursday of last week. Chris Miller shared his setup which along with Anthony Lurcock. They were 2 completely different setups but felt almost exactly the same. However for the iRacing Indy 500, I decided to use Chris's setup since that is looking to be the one we will be using for the race this Wednesday.

I did a couple of fuel runs to see about distance and tire wear so that I could get the data that I could use to come up with what I thought was a good strategy for the race. However after Chicago, I thought to myself "Self, you can do better this time". Why do I lie to myself like that LOL. So I go ahead make sure I have Chris's setup loaded and ready to go. Get another fuel run in before the start of the race. Then formulate a plan: I will break this into 8 25 laps stops getting tires each time cause I get 28 laps on a full tank, and after a full run I have about 75% tires left on the right side. So that is the plan, it will be about 4 laps under a caution to equal saving 1 full laps of racing. Okay keep all that straight in my head while racing 30+ drivers and surviving.

So time for the race. My teammate and me both signed on at the same time, and it said he was 3 minutes ahead on the list compared to my time. Once I told him that we both thought the same thing " this is exactly what happened last time when it crashed". So as his timer went to 0, I waited for him to say "it has crashed". So when he keyed in on TeamSpeak, he said "we are in the same split. I am 8th and you are 14th" I was excited but still waiting to join the race. So as the time ticked down, I crossed my fingers and..........got IN!!

Alright here we go, I have my water, been to the bathroom and I am ready to go. While practicing and seeing people wreck on just getting on to the track, I started saying to myself  " I am starting in the mid of the pack. Should I start from the pit?". Let me tell you it may sound like this is an easy decision but it is not. Your ego is in such full force that it tells you that you can make it around any wreck, it won't happen to you, etc. So it was time to grid and it literally came down to the final 30 second till grid before I decided to start from the pits. And boy was it a good idea!!

The race starts, the marshals let us out of the pits and it wasn't even 5 laps and the first wreck has happened. And guess where the wreck happened at???? That is right, right around where I would have started if I had not started from the grid. So +1 to me for my strategy. After another 2 wrecks, which one was my teammate cause of the strong areo push it started to spread out and go green flag runs. So I am not going to go over a 200 lap race lap by lap but just give some oversight to want happened. I started pitting every 24 laps, 16 gallons (cause you can not fill up with half gallons) and 4 tires. All of the pits from about lap 40 till the end were green flag so I would go down 2 laps and get them back when the leaders pitted. And it started to look like I would be able to fight for a top 3 if not possiblily a win with this strategy. Now 1 problem that I have with other strategies in anything I do I get set on 1 thing of the strategy and don't think about everything. And this time was no different. Around the 3 final pit stops, I started to realize that the leader was going a couple more laps longer than he was before. So I started to change my last couple of pits strategy. Do I take on 16 gallons and tires, then a 15 lap run instead of 24 then take a full tank and run it out or do I split the last 43 laps into just 1 stop? So what did I decide to do? Instead of 24 laps then 15 laps then 24 laps, I decided to do 24 laps twice then a splash at the end for the last 9 laps. For almost an hour all I was focused on was the fuel. So every pit was fuel and tires, fuel and tires etc. So the final pit comes and I hit the button on my wheel that I have binded to change the fuel from 16 gallons to 10 gallons. Come to a stop perfectly in goes the gas but why isn't my tires being put on. Fuel is done still no tires, what is going on, check tire page on F3...NO CHECK MARKS! WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED!! Okay hit button again to check the tires to change, alright tires are going on.....DANG IT THAT MEANS FUEL IS GOING ON. So I leave the pits 2 laps down and a full tank and actually made 2 pits stops instead of one. I would get 1 lap back but not both laps. The leader who had been saving fuel for almost 70 laps if not more. Ran out of fuel with half a lap left, he lost the lead and I caught him on the front stretch. 1 lap down and finished 5th all because I didn't focus on all parts of the pit stop and just fuel. Plus another thing that everyone should do it PRACTICE PITTING. I would slow down too much the first couple of pits that would make me lose more time than I should have.

So to sum up. Practice pit stops in practice sessions, make sure to think about all aspects of the pit stop. My tires could have made it the last 9 laps but cause every stop was fuel and tires when my tires didn't go on it threw me off. Be adaptable during the race and save fuel when you can. My butt was numb, brake foot was hurting cause it feel weird for me to race with my left foot on the ground instead of in a normal position in case I have to brake and my left wrist was shot from all the left turns. I am proud of how I finished and for racing the whole race minus a lap. I can't wait for the Indy race this Wednesday but I am so excited that season 3 starts next week and I will be back to racing with Jon in the DW12 both road and oval.

Friday, July 18, 2014

700 views this time in 3 WEEKS!!! I am beyond humbled and touched!!!

I am amazed and so humbled by this. I hit 700 views in a month. This time not even my second full month of having this blog, I already hit that number and it is still climbing. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! Whether if you looked once or everyday, I am speechless. I am preparing some things that will take this blog to another level. Please stay tuned for more and more things to come.

Tonight is the rescheduled iRacing Indy 500 at 8pm EST. I will be running that tonight plus getting a ton of League of Legends in this weekend. I offered to give any little bit of help that I can to Joe Hassert in Spec Barber Ford at Brands Hatch to help him win his division. So that is Saturday night. Plus I have my kids this week so there will be Call of Duty Ghost and Black Ops 2. Also for their birthday this year, I reactivated the World of Warcraft account so they will be doing that I am sure. Plus my longest ride to date and run on Saturday morning. So lots of things to post about this weekend and will try to post during the weekend to keep everyone up to date.

THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH AND STAY TUNED FOR A TON MORE TO COME!!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Lionheart IndyCar Series: Chicagoland "Deep Dish" 150 Race Recap

I added the Deep Dish part LOL!


Waking up in the motor-home to the sounds of 700 HP beasts chasing each other around a 1.5 mile track, saying to myself  "I love the smell of Ethanol in the morning!! That smell, you know that E85 smell. Smelled like 1st place." Well that is what happened in my head at least when I sat down and got ready to warm-up for the race LOL. Tuesday night, I got into the practice server to get a good fuel run in order to come up with a good strategy and more than likely different that what every other person would have. I did a full tank run which let me know that the right side tires really took a beating and when they finally dropped off, they dropped off quick. So I came up with almost the same strategy that I had for Miami, which I did not post a blog about (and for that League Members I AM SORRY!!). That strategy was for this race 34 laps pit add fuel to give me just 13 gallons and 4 tires, 13 gallons would give me about 34 laps. So I was looking for a 2 stop race each time going into the pits with about .4 gallons left. Now the strategy was a gamble and that would be what I would have to do cause I didn't have the speed like I had at Michigan and Homestead. During practice myself, Anthony Lurcock and C.C.M (Chris Miller) were doing practice qualifying runs. Now definitely not to brag, but if my memory is correct I qualified ahead of C.C.M for the first 2 races. I knew from Official Series races that he was a great qualifier, so I thought I would be at least close to his Q time. Not even close. The best I could do in practice runs was .8 away. So I knew I had to come up with a strategy that would hopefully let me pit early enough so that "when" a caution comes out I could be lucky enough to be on 1 or 2 lap tires with the fuel I need. However the downside to not practicing on Monday or with a lot of people in the servers, no pack running. So with the help of Anthony Lurcock just telling me it has aero push behind another car and it can push you to the wall, I knew I would have to either lift at turn in or pop out some of the car to catch air, like in NASCAR when they are pushing the car in front of them and have to get air on the radiator.

Sitting in the car, at pit exit, I had my pitting strategy that me and my engineers came up with (okay okay the voices in my head told me it would work with cautions LOL). Qualifying was about to begin. Starting with this race, in order to over come the issues with so many people filling up one room and having to build quickly another room, the admin came up with what I think is a great idea. We would have a Top Split room and a Bottom Split room. The basis of which came down to the top 20 in points would be Top Split and the rest would be Bottom Split with the exception of a Last Chance Qualifier race that took place on Tuesday night where the top 5 would move up to the Top Split. So I had run a 24.690 in Tuesday's practice session, I said to myself "you can good enough, smart enough and you can do better slacker!" LOL. Anyway practice Q and real Q has always been different, 24.729 put me starting 12th. I was where I had never been before starting outside the top 6. So then the aero push popped up in my head. How bad was it? When did it start and when did it end? Is it faster to lift get down then wide open? Or is it better to pop out and get air on the front to bring it down? Yep my friends this is what practice is for!!

Starting 12th mid pack, I already set tires to be replaced and put in my 13 gallons already to be put in. Settling your button to these settings makes it so much easier. Push one button and BAM 4 tires and 13 gallons. Now if you get caught up in the racing and don't stay up to date with what is going on you will pit and start putting in 13 gallons ON TOP OF WHAT IS ALREADY IN THERE! I learned that last race so as we started I would remove 1 gallon at a time to do the math. Now if you remember what I said earlier, the strategy , to me, would work IF there were cautions. Yep you guessed....NOT A SINGLE ONE!!! Which made for some great quick racing but messed my plan all up. After just a couple of laps I saw someone go mow the front straight grass and I thought to myself, nice caution. NOPE!!  So then I heard Joe Hassert say "I tapped the wall" again I thought, nice caution. NOPE!!  So first stop was going to be at lap 34 under green. By the set rules, I would pull off on the back straight go on the apron of turn 3 to get to the pit. Now pitting has always been something I need work on, cause every time I have needed to pit there has been cautions. Again never ASS-U-ME there will be cautions LOL. And don't DON'T NEVER pull off half way down the back straight and slow to almost pit speed by the middle of 3, stupid move Jeremy. I had to speed up to get in the pits. However when I pitted I had 13 gallons still in the tank, so I unchecked the gas button and just took tires. In and out in no time, back up to speed and out on the track. Now like last recap I will not go lap by lap, but I will say my strategy gave me false hope. About 10 to 14 laps later all the other racers that didn't pit with me or Joe (again for the wall touch), started to pit. When I came out I was 23 2 laps down. Once the other racers pitted I was 12 on the lead lap. So I had only 16 or so laps on my tires and had burned by then over 6 gallons of the 13 I had left. Tires were fresh and I was lite, which mean I was running down people. I just kept saying to myself come on I need a caution, but that last just a couple of laps cause as I got close to having to pit again if one came out then everyone would be the same. So in the pits I go again, 12 gallons to equal a little over 13 total 4 tires and 2 laps down. I had only about 22 laps to go, now time to power it down and watch the other racers start pitting. While I was waiting for the pits to start me and Dennis had some great racing. He was a lap ahead of me but I knew I was faster just cause of newer tires. It took me about 4 laps or so to finally get around him. I mean I tried high runs, low runs, over/unders, under/overs. And finally an over/under out of 2 and staying low got me around him in 3. That is what is so good about this League and the Top Split. I was not worried about racing Dennis so hard. So on to waiting to see the leaders start pitting. Each lap as it got closer I said come on start saying "pitting in". Come on let get started, Come on pit. START PITTING DANG YOU GUYS. Nope it never happened. They went to fuel conservation mode and made it on 1 stop. If the race was about 2 laps longer it would have been an amazing strategy. Finished 17th 2 laps down. 2 laps down is exactly how many laps I went down by pitting. What a great race and NO CAUTIONS WHAT SO EVER!!!

What to take away from this race. THE ADMIN DID IT!! All bugs were worked out, the rooms worked great and it was great fun exciting racing. AND I KEPT MY SPOT IN THE TOP SPLIT FOR AT LEAST ONE MORE WEEK. Next up for me is the Indy 500 Friday night with my Teammate Jon Carrigan then get ready for Monday and Tuesday practice for Indy 250 with the Lionheart IndyCar Series on Wednesday night!!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE TOP THREE IN THE TOP SPLIT:
1. RICHARD BEHR
2. ANTHONY LURCOCK
3. JEFF YORK

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE TOP THREE IN THE BOTTOM SPLIT:
1.ZACHARY TRULL
2. BRIAN SULLIVAN
3. JORGE ANZALDO

GREAT RACE AND JOB GUYS!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Lance Armstrong: To look up to and feel betrayed by the same person at the same time

I will never forget the day I sat on my couch watching Lance Armstrong's interview with Oprah. I felt like he reached through the screen and punched me in the gut. I actually felt nauseous watching him tell the world that he did lie to us. That all of those wins were aided by performance enhancing drugs. Even now as I type this I can not type "all those wins were because of PEDs". Most people can and do say that. Look at the last Tour he did, he finished in the 20s clean. How could it not have been the PEDs? For 7 years starting in July and going until about March, I would defend a man I never met, never spoke to on the phone, never even got within a 1000 miles of. To see an American not only win the Tour de France but dominate it the way he did or dominate any European sport was everything to me. I would defend him by saying, his heart was bigger, his VO2 Max was more than anyone else, he kept his strength and endurance but lost the weight with chemo so he was more efficient. I used anything and everything I heard or read to defend the man that I looked up to, that was an inspiration to many many people around the whole world. So as I sat last night and saw that The Armstrong Lie was on TV, I had many mixed emotions. I saw that it has been on demand for a couple of weeks and I knew I wanted to see it, but couldn't bring myself to watch it. To me if I didn't see it and hear him talk about using, it never happened still. If you don't talk about it, it never happens right? But I decided to watch it and started in about the middle of it. The emotion of betrayal hit me again over and over and still so very strong that it surprised me. Why after all this time does this man have this impact on me. I tried to explain how I could look on 1 person with such hurt and admiration at the same time. The only thing that I can say to explain how I can is, when you take the side, defend, yell for, scream for something or someone for that many years and that many months each of those years you become emotionally invested and attached.

I don't know why I decided to write this. To put down how I feel now so long after the truth came out. Maybe it will make me see how ridiculous I am being holding on to my believe in him, what type of person he is. But even as I type this I have to stop myself from deleting the bad things I am saying. But the same time, I wish I could walk up to him and punch him in the stomach as say "that is what it feels like, that is what you did to this fan, this defender of you, this supporter." Maybe it is the far distance off chance that he will see it and just see that there are still people out there that wants to see him succeed and compete and prove but they are also at the same time feels like they were personally hurt and affected by his lies.

That is all just a inside to me and my thoughts.